Of the cold weather & the warm friendships!

 Posted on December 4, 2022 by Ruchi

The weather has been getting colder each week, though people keep reminding me that this has been the warmest November in years. Yet, for a person who has lived across in soaring highs, my bones have still not got accustomed to the cold. I feel each drop in the Celsius scale and searching google for online thermals and warm clothes is becoming a sort of compulsion these days. The other day, my mobile buzzed a subzero temperature, and I was all ecstatic about it. Having lived through another extreme, my brain thinks of all this as another adventure. I guess, when you cover yourself completely the way I am doing, with layers of clothes, gloves, scarf and cap, the only parts of the body which are cold are the cheeks and the lips which just go numb.

Having spent my childhood in the small sleepy town in Himachal (India), the rational me tries to think of the tips and tricks my mom used to keep us warm. Once the winters would sneak a peek, the nightly ritual of warm milk with all her special additions and infusions would take a foothold. Each day would be a different kind of milk, and though then I didn’t like all the varieties she created, a few were my particular favorite. Never having shown any interest in cooking then, I know her magic cannot be recreated. Even if all the recipes and ingredients are known, who would bring the love and care which of course, only she can! Don’t know, how much those things kept me warm, but it does leave a warmth in the heart and a smile on the face.

Talking about things which bring warmth to heart, close friends even if far away, do gladden up the heart with just a thoughtful message or a call. Female friendships are strange though. They change with the status in life. In college and hostels, we flock together as if we would be roommates for life. As we journey through marriage, motherhood and parenting, these close friendships take a backstage, just like the career for many. Who other than your bestie would understand, why you did not turn up for that dinner or for the college reunion. The daily phone calls shift to weekly, then months and then may be years are skipped in between. However, the beauty of those close friendships is that instant connect, when even after years, you pick up effortlessly where you had left last time. I must have told all my friends in Dubai before moving countries, yet I could not pull out many even for a dinner or just a cocktail night. Such are female friendships! If “Veere di weeding” was shot with all the protagonists may be 20 years older, the Thailand trip would never have been possible. Someone would have an ailing mother, other an exam going child, another with a marital problem and what not. Having said that, it still is one of my most favorite movies, and I am jealous I haven’t been ever able to take such a trip with gal-pals.

With some people there is an instant connection, and the conversations are just effortless. Not all friendships however are sweet. Some are bitter experiences which you remember for life.

Moving alone was a big step for me. Having never stayed apart after marriage, I was really nervous on how we would make things work, long distance. After a month and a half, the weekdays being busy pass soon. Yet, every weekend I am a bundle of nerves. The phone calls which fill the weekdays seem less on weekends. Time will bring the answers which we don’t have. Still, its these phone calls and messages from my hubby and my friends which make my days warmer.