When I came across this decade hop, I was excited. I could have written my autobiography, yet when I sat down, I deleted 3 full posts and found nothing I write would do justice to the transformation within me.
Whenever a major calamity or a tragedy, natural or man-made happens in life, it changes you. There will be always life before it and life after it.
As I sit to write about the last decade, there was a girl before the incident and the woman I am now. I did not let it break me. I struggled for a long time, I had my downs, but I did not let it deter me. What was supposed to turn me into dust became a Midas Touch and turned me into gold.
I will not talk about what, when, why because all that’s a fodder for gossip but I will definitely focus on the transformation within me.
A decade before, I was a girl so unsure of herself, who would not dare stand up for her own rights. I was naive, stupid and trusted everyone. I would cry easily and inspite of being working and educated, I easily let myself be used. When my own betrayed my trust, all I was left was with myself to start anew.
From that point begins my new story !! An independent, confident and a strong me. I am still naive, but I no longer expect from others to be fair just because I won’t harm them.
I no longer worry about public perceptions and false image. I speak up my mind and through my blog I have stood up for people who needed me. Whether it has been a story on a woman who was cheated or on the practices of society where they worship Goddess, but demean the one they’ve brought home, I have tried to make a difference.
When I changed cities from Delhi to Dubai obviously in a search of a new life, I was afraid. I was working in one of the top notch labs in India and I was not even sure if I would clear my licensing exam. Yet, slowly and steadily, I built in again, made place for myself professionally.
My family life had been through a big turmoil, but we started again. Built in from the remains and made it better and best again.
I learnt that I’ll have to let go toxic memories, toxic relationships and I would have to learn to trust again.
Today I do what I love, whether it’s my blog, my work or my family. I’ve learnt things hard way yet I’m thankful for the life I have.
Life is not fair, nor is it easy, but how we deal with it is our own choice. We alone are responsible for the happiness within. If we keep looking back at the worst things that have happened, we would never be able to live. So forgive, forget and move on. Instead learn the lesson and keep going towards a better you.
I have become wiser, have travelled the world, lots of places in the past 3+ years, and that has humbled me as well. We spend on memories and on quality time.
Before the turn of last decade, I was mother to a toddler, who is well a preteen now. For all those mothers who wait for a child to grow up, I am adding a caution here. Keeping your cool with a teenager is much more difficult than sleepless nights of a toddler. The key is to enjoy each phase, as soon they will outgrow even this.
As I turn 40 this year, I would look back at this decade and remember the best part that is the last 4 years of my life.
As I sign off I’ll quote my favorite verse from Robert Frost